LEARNING TO STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET

Your parents and other family members had many opportunities to encourage your developing independence, and you can trace how you personal power was shaped by their actions and reactions.

1) Listed below are a number of experiences related to independence; circle those in which your family freed you to participate, and put an X through those in which they discouraged you from participating.

PLAYING OUTSIDE CROSSING THE STREET GOING TO FRIEND'S HOUSE

CHOOSING CLOTHES DOING HOMEWORK SPENDING MONEY

GOING TO CAMP STAYING AT HOME ALONE HAVING A JOB

LEARNING TO DRIVE STARTING TO DATE HANDLING PROBLEMS

PLANNING THE FUTURE THINKING FOR YOURSELF

EXPRESSING FEELINGS LEAVING THE NEST

2) Write what you notice how the balance if the circles and Xs portrays your family’s attitude toward your independence

3) Look for patterns or connections between how your family treated you then and what role they or other influential people have in your life now. Describe how your independence level now relates to your family past.

At an early age, 15 years of life, I lose my mom but she equipped me with so much love and independence. She was actually and is actually the greatest influence in my life. And I tell you, she's the boss. Almost all of the experiences listed above, except having a job, were actually the experiences that my mom exposed me to.

She allowed me to go camping at grade 4 with my chaperon by my side until grade 5. And when I reached grade 6, she allowed me to go alone into camping. In playing outside, she will simply state some rules regarding time and she expected me to follow what was our agreement. She respected all of my decisions and the way I handled my problems. After elementary graduation, she helped me to plan for my future. She even allowed me to engage on friendly dates for me to be exposed. My mom guided all of these things.

With trust and guidance of my parents, I was able to achieve my independence, not totally, but appropriate for my age. My parents believed that children should be trained to stand on their two feet so it would not be hard for children to handle their own lives when they grow up. Just like what they did to me.

I can say that my mom had done whatever she needed to do and the rest is up to me to discover. With the independence and self-esteem that she imparted in me, I know I will be able to make it.